A couple weeks ago, I shared a photo on my personal Facebook page. Everyone liked it, but I didn’t say a whole lot about it, other than that I was trying to treat what I do more like a business than a hobby.
But it was also part of getting ready for a big change.
For the past five years, I’ve been a stay-at-home mom, and that’s been my biggest job. I left my employer because my daughter needed me. But now she’s officially started school, and it meant it was time for me to go back to work.
My husband and I talked about it. We made plans. Going back to a normal job was the first option on the table, and honestly, it would pay better. But it’s not what I’m passionate about, and things have changed in the past five years. At the time we discussed it, we were in a position where his income could support us; there was no longer a need for my income to pay bills. That meant I was finally faced with a pretty amazing opportunity: I could work, or I could work for myself.
It wasn’t a difficult decision, but things happen. I made the decision immediately. I was going to stay home and write.
Then I started having health problems, and the insurance company did not pay. It’s funny how fast one bill can change plans, and we still don’t know what’s wrong with me. Almost as soon as I made the decision to pursue my writing, it seemed Life had decided to prevent it from happening.
I spent a lot of time thinking. A lot of time working, too–usually thinking while I worked. I started scraping together money to put toward the bills, thinking all the while about what I’d have to give up in order to pay it off.
Then one evening, while working and thinking and listening to podcasts about creative work, I recalled when my sweet friend Megan encouraged me to read The Alchemist, citing the core message of the book.
Sometimes the universe doesn’t put obstacles in your way to prevent you from reaching your goals. Sometimes the obstacles are put in your way to see how badly you want to reach said goals.
I’m still going to work hard. I’m going to pursue my passions and try to build something of it while I can. And for now, when it comes to the bills and the stress and my desperate need to have something to contribute to my household… well, I’ll put that in God’s hands.
For now, I’ll stick to the original plan and say it:
I am now a full-time author.
For how long, I don’t know. But I hope and pray that something comes of it, so I can push past these monstrous obstacles and reach that shining goal at the end.
I’ll still be doing YouTube stuff, probably at the same pace, but my main focus will be writing. Right now, my goal is to arrange all my work so that my evenings no longer have to be split between work and family. I’ll aim to finish work before my daughter gets home from school and have my evenings free to be with my loved ones. And hopefully, so long as I don’t wear myself out, I’ll be completing one book every two or three months and will allow myself weekends off.
That’s the plan, anyway. We’ll see how long it sticks.
For now, I have some writing to do.